I find that miracles happen just when you are ready to give up.
Infertility is hard. But I have learned through this experience that whatever your struggles, whatever your trials, DO NOT give up! When you are ready to give up is when miracles usually happen! Treatment can be tiring, expensive and emotional, but keep trying. Your miracles are waiting for you!
My husband John and I met at a Christmas night get-together in my hometown in Idaho in 2002. He was home on leave from the Army and we became instant friends and kept in contact after he left town. But after about a year, life took over and we lost contact. Eight years later in 2010, John found me on Facebook and we started talking again. By this time I was living back home in Idaho since my mom had been diagnosed with breast cancer. We saw each other again during Thanksgiving holidays that year when he was again home on leave and we officially started dating.
After John returned from his deployment to Afghanistan and mom’s cancer went into remission, I decided to move to New York to be with him and we were married in May 2013.
Soon after we started down the road of fertility treatments. Pituitary problems stemming from head trauma I received in a car accident ten years earlier made my periods erratic and ovulation unreliable. After six months of seeing specialists and one surgery we were ready to begin with hormone injections and timed intercourse.
During the first cycle I was so excited and full of hope, even though I was doubting it would work our first try. Each evening’s injections were hard to give and deal with but I did them with a smile on my face knowing I had to do this to get pregnant. My first cycle wasn’t successful, which was extremely sad. But we started our second cycle the next month so we didn’t have time to dwell on the results of the first one. When we went in to do the pregnancy blood test I was praying it would be positive but yet trying not to get my hopes up. We got the call about the test a few hours later. It was POSITIVE!
My levels were slightly lower than my doctor wanted, so we returned a few days later for a repeat test. The blood test again showed my levels slowly rising. But an ultrasound didn’t show anything growing in my uterus or tubes, so my doctor decided the pregnancy was probably not viable. We were travelling home to Idaho for Christmas and decided we would do another blood test there just to see if my levels were dropping as expected with a biochemical pregnancy.
In Idaho, after multiple blood tests, ultrasounds and a trip to the emergency room, they finally located a sac in my right tube. I had an ectopic pregnancy that could only end in a ruptured tube and disaster. With a heavy heart we began the methotrexate shots to end the pregnancy.
I’d say that this experience was the hardest part of my journey.
The emotional roller coaster of knowing I was pregnant, then thinking it was a biochemical pregnancy, then having my levels keep rising but not able to find the baby on ultrasound, then finally locating it and having to terminate my baby that I’d wanted for many, many years and had spent months trying to conceive was more than I could bear.
A few months later we were transferred to Louisiana where I did some research to find a new doctor. After reading the reviews about Dr. Storment and Fertility Answers and all their happy endings, I decided I wanted him as my doctor. Soon after we started our first cycle with Dr. Storment which didn’t end in a pregnancy.
By this time, we had done three cycles within the span of a year, but it seemed like a million cycles over a million years. I was so tired of all the poking, prodding, feeling bad and negative pregnancy tests that I had decided after the next cycle we were going to take a break both physically and emotionally. Then our fourth cycle (second with Dr. Storment) took! I WAS PREGNANT!
We were over the moon with excitement, but cautious about another ectopic pregnancy. We monitored my levels for the next few weeks and found my levels were rising beyond the normal levels. From the first pregnancy test I felt I was pregnant with twins, a boy and a girl. We went in for the first ultrasound, and there they were, TWINS, and in the right place!
Fast forward, Chrystal and Gage were born at 30 weeks, via C-section and were immediately taken to the NICU. I was instantly in love with both of them even though I hadn’t held them yet. All I wanted was to see and hold my babies and after three long hours they pushed my bed into the NICU and I was able to hold them for a few minutes. It was the best feeling I’ve ever felt. I knew I loved them, but once I saw them and held them everything was different! I’d do anything, give anything for my twins. My lifelong dream of having a family and having babies to give my love to had finally happened. My life is complete and my heart is full!